A Call to Courage
Even if you're like the lion in Oz.
Hello Subscribers!
I’m very excited to announce that my first two “Ask the Parent Coach” columns have gone live at the Weston Observer!
The first, “My son won’t do his homework! How do I motivate him?” is as much about regulating our own feelings on this subject before talking with our kids as it is about addressing the homework issue itself.
The second, “Why doesn’t my child have friends"? What can I do?” challenges us to examine our own relationship to friendship, and then to take a look at our kid’s friendships … and to ask a teacher or school counselor if we need more information than what we can see at home.
What these have in common is a call to courage. As Brene Brown has written in many places, courage is the willingness to get vulnerable, face our demons, and behave in alignment with our values. Nothing brings out our own wronged and insecure inner children like our own children. Parenting our kids requires us to face issues with the kind of courage that looks like vulnerability.
Whenever a specific parenting issue hits me hard—the friendship one is particularly close to my own heart—I try to first ask myself, Why am I having this reaction? I talk about it in therapy or with trusted adult friends before going to my daughter so that I limit the possibility of my own feelings tainting the conversation. I want to listen to her experience, not to assume it’s just like my own.
That is seriously hard for me.
No, parenting is not for the faint of heart.
If you feel like you need some support, I’m here.
And remember: There is no such thing as a perfect parent.
I believe in you,
Kerri
